Does a picture say 1000 words?

Tonight, my ex sent me a picture of his kid. But no description, no text before or after.. just a picture of his kid in a huge ass truck tire. It was a really cute picture, I'll give him that. But when I'm NICE and respond "that's a great picture, you should print it out & frame it, it's cutesy." and he STILL doesnt say anything back?! What's the damn point behind that? All I did was text him earlier to ask him what Cherry Bombs are (when it comes to trucks & exhausts, which he told me makes the exhaust sound louder) but WHY send me that picture 4 hours after the fact? Was it by mistake? I highly doubt that. Was it to rub in my face that he has a kid, which he named MY name I picked out for OUR future son? I don't think so. Was it because he's a proud father? It's probably that one. But why, send it to ME? And why couldn't I respond with a smart ass response like "I'm sorry, you must have me confused with someone that cares about your life." And lastly, why am I laying here in bed unable to fall asleep.

With each day that goes by I forget something else about my past. I've buried it so deep that I don't think I'll ever remember anything from a few years ago. Even the good memories. I wish I had new, better memories to replace the old ones with.. but I don't.

I'm the most weak, way too nice & the biggest push over around.

Just another day?

I was sitting in my car today at Sheets gas station on Steels Corners, waiting for my car to fill up with gas. I was texting Nick to sort-of "vent" because I can't stand people sometimes and I hit the button on my phone that takes me to the home screen and there it was, today's date, plain as day. June 14th. I seriously just sat there & stared at my phone. It hit me hard what today actually is. I never gave it any thought in the days leading up today (Which in turn is a good thing.) But seeing the date, right in front of me just made my stomache drop about 60 feet. I was totally unprepared.

Today is the anniversary date between me & the EX. I don't like being reminded about these things. You can judge me all you want for letting something like this get to me, especially after it's been so long since we were last "together." But the past couple months between us have jus made todays date even worse. He's living the life we had planned out for us, without me, with another girl. I mean seriously- down to the "little" detail of naming his son, the name I wanted to name my son.

Ugh! It frustrates me SO much that I just took the time to type out this blog. I need to grow the eff up. So this is me, ending my session of complaints. May tomorrow come faster than the speed of light. I'm SO done with today already.