Ahh I haven't actually blogged in a while. I really haven't had anything to say? Nothing huge is going in my life, besides petty little things that won't be important by this time next week. However by the end of October, things are going to be hitting me pretty hard. There's so much that happens in October that bring my mood from 8's & 9's to 1's & 2's on the "HAPPY mood scale, 10 being the happiest ever!" The 18th marks the day my life turned upside down, inside out & I thought I wasn't going to be able to wake up the next morning and survive the whole day. But I did. It was the hardest thing I've ever gone through, and I went through it 110% alone. My friends didn't understand. The only advice they could give me was "I know things are hard right now, but I promise you it will get better." That's not the best advice to hear "in the heat of the moment" but looking back now, it truly was the best advice I could get, because they were right. Things got a lot better, maybe not within days, weeks or hell, not even within a couple months.. but things are a lot better now. A year goes by so fast.
The 17th is Sweetest Day and Jenner doesn't have a sweety.. oh darn! Considering the fact that I've been broken up with a total of 3 different times on Sweetest Day, I've never cared for this holiday, so not having a sweety is going to work out just fine! Ha-ha.
My favorite season is fall. I LOVE fall! Fall is definetly here & I'm so EXCITED! Everything about fall I love. I love driving and seeing all the leaves red, orange & yellow. I love the outside smells through-out the day & night. I like late-night thunderstorms. I love being able to put on a hoodie and be completly comfortable inside a house or outside doing something. It's weird but I really like Mums & I make sure I buy my mom some every year to put on the front porch for Halloween. I want to go to a pumpkin patch & pick pumpkins & go home and carve them, watch scary movies, go to haunted houses, have bonfires, go on hay-rides.. and so much more! But I don't have anyone to share my favorite time of the year with :( Sometimes I feel like I consume my time, energy and feelings into the fact that I don't have someone special in my life. It might even seem like I'm complaining too much about the same crap, but I can't help it, it's how I feel. You'd think with being single for a whole year now I should be used to being alone, but the truth is I'm SO used to having someone in my life that it emotionally & physically hurts not having that someone else in my life. It's a transition that will never fully take effect because in the back of my head I'm telling myself there will be someone special coming along shortly.
I apologize to all my friends if I seem boy crazy, I hope you don't think I'm annoying or anything.. I definetly don't mean to be. My life is very simple & complicated all wrapped up together. But thank you all for always being here for me & listening to me. I love you!
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Life isn't simple, and whoever said it was is DEAD wrong. Life is what you make of it tho, I truly believe this. I know life seems gloomy and alone at times but in its own way it strengthen's us to conquer bigger and badder things in the early future or years down the road. I know that doesn't make sense, it didn't for me years ago. But being alone gives you the knowledge that you can survive alone and that you don't need to depend on anyone. So basically what I am saying that if there ever comes a time in life that something doesn't work out, look back and reflect and say.. "Hey, I made it through then alone, I can do this again". Granted its still going to be tough emotionally but again nothing is simple. I know I am rambling and prolly make no sense. I just have learned so much in my life in the last few mths its unreal. I have grown dramatically. Almost unrecognizable to some.
ReplyDeleteLike I said the other day... have fun with what you have and don't have high expectations, just enjoy it. The rest will come eventually. Don't try to rush and grow up too fast. Your life will end up where it is supposed to be in due time. But as I see you... you are a very beautiful, spunky girl that is full of life. You aren't afraid to try anything once, which is awesome! You are very smart, funny, and caring. You love your friends and family and that is so important. Don't look at others that are with a significant other and wish it was you... but if you do don't get down on yourself. It will happen eventually. And for the time being.. ENJOY what comes to you. You have your whole life ahead of you and it has endless possibilities Jenner.
Love you!
cheryl, you are beyond amazing! thank you so much!!!!!
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