Happy December!

So it's now the month of December. Where exactly did the year 2009 go? I don't think a full year has ever gone by so quickly. I don't know what to do. I can't believe its already December! There's 13 days til my birthday, and I'm freaking out. I don't want to turn 24 years old, I wish I was turning 22 again! I hate knowing that I've spent over a year 110% single, and I'm gonna be bringing in another birthday, for the second year in a row, alone. Then Christmas will be here, then New Years and ughhhhh.. I'm so sick of going through life ALONE. You can think I'm pathetic or whatever, I don't care. But you try being dependent on someone for 5 years and then not having that security, the love, that closest best friend ever-ness in your life to get you through each day. I hate being alone, it's a fear! Seriously. I absolutely LOVE my birthday. I love the fact that it's a day all about me. But it sucks when I don't have someone to make it all about me.

You know that saying "I threw away the key to my heart?" Well FUCK that saying! I locked my heart up, welded 20 ft of metal around my heart and just didn't throw the key away, I shattered that bitch into dust and let it blow away in the wind. You can't get hurt if you don't let someone in. NO expectations, NO disappointments!

I saw two shooting stars within 3 days! My first shooting star I saw, I made a wish & I already know it ain't coming true. But the shooting star I saw today, and made a wish on.. I'm going to pray every night that it comes true. I deserve that wish to come true!

There's not a day that goes by that I don't remember why I love my friends so much. They get me, they know me inside & out. They know all my moods, my facial expressions. They know when I'm mad, sad, happy & nervous. They basically can read my mind, even when I don't even know what my mind is telling me. They'll do everything and anything for me. Without them I don't know how I'd make it from day to day. I cherish every single one of them. I cherish every single moment I have with them. I cherish their friendship & I never want to lose them. If any of you are reading this, I LOVE YOU! Thank you :)

Over the next few weeks, things are going to get hectic! But I'm excited :) Next week starts my best friend Kyla's birthday celebrations, which we include my birthday in. The following week I have a 3-day weekend because my birthday is on a Monday. Then the next week after that is Christmas! Then comes New Years! Then I get the chance to start fresh! 2010 WILL be my year. I WILL make it the best year of my life! Hopefully I bring in right & with a HUGE bang!

xoxoxo